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The title of this entry is comprised of lyrics from a song I sang in chorus in fourth or fifth grade..."Best friends should be together / That's how it ought to be / So, let's pretend I'm part of (/) You and you are part of me. It always reminds me of Kylie. I miss her dearly. I also (duh) miss Liz and Aim more than words can say. No lyrics to any song can describe that. Sigh...

So I'm sitting here at my desk with a cup of hot chocolate on account of (I sound like Angela Anaconda -- didn't she say that all the time? I never really watched that show, but I think she did.) the frigid weather. It's dreary and gray and the wind sends a chill through any un-thoroughly-clothed part of my body. Someone is blasting rap. It's distracting me. Hey, it's a song I know! That doesn't happen very often when people are listening to rap. Ugh, my dishes are in extreme need of being washed. And my desk is as cluttered as my brain.

This weekend was rather uneventful for me. Andrea's friends from home came up. And that triggered a lot for me. I've also become insanely addicted to Friends. So naturally I've been missing mine. I had a dream about Jason Saturday night. I have no idea what it was about, but I know he was in it. I woke up frazzled and upset and eventually started crying about it. I absolutely hate admitting it, but he is something special. Ew, that sounds so dumb. But really. I can't think of another way to say it. All of my friends surpass, in many ways, people here. Obviously, I've known them much longer so I've had time to realize their...special-ness. I need another word. But seriously. I'm not who I normally am here because the part of me that is Liz, Amy, Jas and David isn't here with me.

Everything reminds me of them. Well, hey, that might be because there are a million pictures of them and me, and one of them or two of them or whatever strewn all over my walls. I go to bed and wake up to their faces everyday. I work with a picture of Jason and me to my left and a collage of Liz, Amy and I to my right. And directly in front of me is a Cornell College (thanks Lizzle) window cling, a Zing! roadtrip collage and business card, and postcards from Jason's Philmont trip. Sigh.

Mrs. Broussard emailed me old pictures today; two of when Liz and I stayed with my grandma for a week and two from the Andover Fourth of July events. We were young. Liz was in braces. And I was FAT. I suppose Mrs. Hesslein was right when she said I've lost weight. But thanks to the freshmen fifteen, I'm sure I'll gain it back. Excellent. Anyway...the pictures. I love them, as awful as they are. At the time, I probably thought little of leaving Liz. I probably never would have guessed that she would end up 1,167.13 miles (yes, I've looked it up) away from me. God, why is this so hard?!

I've lost my train of thought (What else is new?). This entry isn't as deep as I want it to be, but I have to deal with surface stuff before I can find the meaning of life. I need to go eat something and start a paper that's due tomorrow. Gross.

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ellacate08
ellacate08

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